Its true. It sounds weird. Why would feeling guilty be good? Why is sadness good? I mean happiness is great. But the others. No way!!
Lets explore with guilt, a so-called negative emotion
Guilt.
What's good about guilt? Let's think of an example. You are in a bad mood and you yell at your kid/friend/partner/coworker. Then you feel bad. You feel guilt for yelling at them. What does this guilt say about you that is awesome? Take a moment and think.
Here, guilt can mean many things:
It may motivate you to fix the situation, to apologize and modify your behaviour (integrity)
It can prevent you from making the same mistake in the future
It is an expression of love or care about [the person you yelled at]
It reveals a sense of responsibility
It means that you take your role seriously [you feel guilt about stepping outside your role of caring parent/friend/partner/coworker]
It shows that you have a moral compass and high standards
It shows that you value that person
It shows that you don’t want to hurt or exploit others
It is a reminder that you have not been living up to your core beliefs/values
I mean, when you look at it this way, guilt is a beautiful expression of your love and care, your core beliefs, and what you value most.
Now imagine if you yelled at your kid/friend/partner/coworker and you did not feel guilt.
Would that mean:
You are not motivated you to fix the situation, to apologize or modify your behaviour
No cue to prevent you from making the same mistake in the future
You don't really care about [the person you yelled at]
You do not feel a sense of caring responsibility for the person
You may not take your role seriously [you don't mind stepping outside your role of caring parent/friend/partner/coworker]
Maybe your moral compass is lacking and you have low/medium standards for your own behaviour
It shows that you don't value that person
It shows that you don’t mind hurting or exploiting others
You may not have core belief/values about how to treat others
Now ask yourself, what list would you prefer? To guilt or not to guilt. There is no question.
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